'You on the turn, Jake?''What of it? Suppose he is someone I could go for?'She laughed. 'Oh, get you. You'll be painting your nails next. Come and have a dance with me now, Ben. Ought to be turn and turn about, if that's how it's going to be.''Yeah, go on, ' he said, 'I'll get in the drinks.'While Jayde and I danced, I saw him speak briefly to Toby at the bar. The music improved; she moved well, showing a good sense of rhythm, but we did not dance close. When we rejoined Jake there were only three drinks on the table.'I take it Toby's found other interests, ' I said.'You're all right with us, ' Jake answered, 'don't bother about him. What do you think of the place?''Never been anywhere like this before, I'll give it that. Not many people in, though.''Quiet night. Seen anything you like?''Do I fancy anyone here, you mean? Not really.'Halfway through the beer Jake had bought for me I began to feel extraordinarily tired. The Jays tried to get me up to dance again, but my leg muscles. "Patrick."I was being a baby. No, I was being a fourteen-year-old. In a seventeen-year-old body. With a seventeen- or eighteen-year-old friend waiting for me to, well, grow up. I pulled myself erect, another round of tears just waiting to flow."Tanya, you're the only friend I have," I said with as manly a whimper as I could muster. "Because you're the only one who sees me the way I see myself, without the last three years fucking everything up."She took a deep breath and exhaled."So I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my birthday," I said. "It really never was that big a deal to me before I lost those years. I mean, in my mind. I understand now how important it was to you not to be surprised by it, and I'm sorry. Until Jeanne brought it up, I would have felt, I don't know, like I was asking for presents or something. Please, Tanya, I —"She cut me off."I still don't know if I believe this whole thing," she said as her eyes started to tear up. "I admit it explains a lot of stuff, but.
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